Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle/Transcript

Kassidy Vale: Alright, Beep-O - that outta fix the overheating problem. Can you believe it's been three months since Tech magazine on me. Okay - "us" on the cover? "The SupaMerge takes item A and item B and combines them to create item C." If only it were that easy... The article says nothing about dark matter, space-time manipulation, particial applications - nothing! I mean - the SupaMerge could solve the energy crisis, Beep-O! Watch! Not again! Sorry, Beep-O. Let's take a break and come back at this overheating thing fresh, okay?
Beep-O: Why do I have ears!? Well, I hope you're happy! Those Rabbids, they seem driven to cause chaos and mayhem - more so than usual, even. Unlike our two friends here, they seem to have been... corrupted by that Rabbid wearing the SupaMerge headset. Could it be the SupaMerge headset was corrupted on its way to this world? If so... we're all in terrible danger! Mario! We must find that poor Rabbid fused to the headset! He is the key! Save him - we might just save this world. A shocking (though admittedly hilarious) example of the chaos wrought by yht intrusion of our world into this one. Help- Me- I- Can't- Get clear- Thank you, so much! Oh, what is it now? Uh, I've just received a message! Dearest Beep-O, whose bravery, intelligence and compassion stand as a beacon of hope for us all. If my timing is correct, you are in dire need of help. Please open the attachments to this message - their receipt is most auspicious, I assure you. Signed, Your Biggest Fan. Wow! When the email said 'attachments' I thought it was talking about cat videos or something! So! Are you guys want to fight back? Careful now - my sensors detect two enemies on the battlefield! One is hiding behind partial cover, so your chance to hit is. The other is out in the open, giving you a chance to hit it. You can cycle through targets with the Left Stick. Press A to Shoot the selected target. Cowards! Now, they've all behind full cover! We have chance of hitting them from here - we'll only hit their cover. We'll need to flank them! Move around with the Left Stick to position yourself for a snot with a chance of hitting. I recognize those blocks from the basement. I hope they're structurally sound after the SupaMerge but I doubt it. There! In the sky - see that? It began the moment the Rabbids teleported into the Mushroom Kingdom. Hmm... the energy we've seen floating upwards after we defeat an enemy - I wonder... All of the move reason to catch that Rabbid with the SupaMerge headset! He's the key to stopping this, I'm sure of it! Greetings, sweet golden perennial of the prairie! We are- Why did you do that?
Sunflower: Hmpf! After that strange creature with the headset got here - those guys have been but bad news!
Beep-O: I assure you, these Rabbids are not like their colleagues!
Sunflower: Oh! Well, if you can stop him I'll happily reward you. He's zapping his brethen left and right - turns them real nasty.
Beep-O: I don't suppose you would come with us to help?
Sunflower: Sorry folks, but it's time this flower took things... ...underground.
Beep-O: Dear Beep-O, if one is to prevail, one must practice! Please sharpen your movement skills so you can turn the tables on those rascally Rabbids! I've just signed a few suggestions to help you guide your team in the next battle! Quick! Signed, your biggest fan! You can deal damage while on the move by performing a dash! Select a cell with an enemy and press a. Also, you can cover more ground with a team jump! Select a cell with an ally and press a. How about an epic combo? After you dash an enemy, perform a team jump with an ally! It's time to pull together everything you've learned so far - Attack, Movement, Team Jump, Dash... Don't forget about cover! You can also switch Heroes anyitme using L and R, and between Attack and Move using ZL and ZR. Do your best.
Sunflower: Mario, the creature wit the headest got away, but I suppose you did clean up his mess... ...and being a plant of my word, it looks like I owe you a reward.
Beep-O: Ahem! Our good friends Rabbid Luigi and Rabbid Peach helped us well!
Sunflower: Yeah, yeah - great. Okay, okay! Here!
Toad: Mario! Thank goodness you're here. Yours is the first friendly face I've seen the Mushroom Kingdom turned into this... mess! Your timing couldn't be more perfect - I can't find Toadette!
Beep-O: All thanks to the changes caused by these odd pipes our Rabbid "friends" brought with them into your world!
Toad: You guys seem to what you're doing... sort of. Could you help me find her? Pleaaaaaaaaaase?
Beep-O: Okay, but you're gonna see firsthand how big of a pain these pipes are!
Toad: Maybe. But they look so cool!
Beep-O: Oh, be quiet!
Toad: Toadette! I'm so glad you're okay!
Toadette: Oh, I'm fine! Who I'm really worried is about Princess Peach. Mario, can you go back to Peach's Castle and make sure everything's alright?
Beep-O: Certainly not! We need to find him before- Another message! Congratulations on getting this far! A wise man once said, "If I have three hours to chop a tree, I will spend two of them sharpening my axe.' I urge you now to return to Princess Peach's Castle and do just that - prepare yourselves for the fight to come! Well, that's all well and good. But how?! You may wondering "how?". In the time to took you to read this email I have updated your operating system... ...it now includes a new GPS wrap mechanism I call, Sploing! The name is a work in progress. Anyhow, simply activate it and you and your friends will return to Princess Peach's Castle immediately. Signed, your Biggest Fan. Well, that's amazing if true. I suppose I should give it a-
Princess Peach: Mario! Thanks heavens you're alright! It's so good to see you. You've probably noticed this, but... the Mushroom Kingdom's been torn apart! You have to do something, Mario. Oh! Um... who are your new friends?
Beep-O: Allow me, your highness! I am Beep-O - an autonomously intelligent scientific research and operational assistant.
Princess Peach: I see... And-
Beep-O: We call this one Rabbid Luigi... ...and this is Rabbid Peach. Er... he he. She's taking her cosplay a bit too seriously, I'm afraid.
Princess Peach: Yes, their friends also quite er... spirited, as you can see.
Beep-O: It appears as if the Rabbids we freed from the Megabug's control have ended up here - and no worse for wear, either!
Princess Peach: That's right. They keep popping in just like you did. Oh, yes. They've been quite... busy. I suggest you take a look at what they've built, if you have a chance. I believe there's something called a... Battle HQ? And then there's the Museum. They love to collect souvenirs from the Museum Kingdom!
Beep-O: Come, let us for ourselves what your Rabbid cousins have been up to... A fossilized Spiny Shell. We must find a way to restore it - and then spend the rest of our time trying to avoid it. I'm not so thrilled with the Rabbids' work thus far - let's hope this little project of theirs is more constructive. The gate won't budge. We'll need to find another way to that part of the garden. Heck! A new breed of hopping enemies! Team Jump will prove invaluable here. Use it to gain the upper hand! What's this?! Our pseudonymous sympathizer just sent me a system update! From now, before combat begins, you can choose whether to leap headlong into the heat of battle... ...or take time to carefully plan your strategy first, thanks to this new app called, er, TactiCam. Try it! Beware! The area seems quiet, but my sensors detect the presence of lots of hidden enemies! It'll be impossible to defeat them all. Let's focus on reaching that safe zone at the end of the battlefield. As long as one of us reaches the safe zone, we win! It is vital that we stop that Rabbid who integrated himself with the SupaMerge before he creates any more atrocities! Uh, I've received another message from our mysterious friend, let me read it to you. Congratulations, Beep-O! You have successfully led your party through trails and travails worthy of Odysseus himself... Finally! Someone gives e the credit I'm due. This, of course, is mainly due to Mario and your Rabbid friends - whoose skill in battle you vastly underestimated. Yes, well... Ahem! Though as with Odysseus, there are rougher waters ahead. Therefore I feel the time has come to bestow upon you some new tools for your arsenal. Henceforth, in addition to being able to move and fire upon your adversaries, you will each be able to perform one other action during the natural course of combat. To Mario, I have given the gift of Hero Sight. When activated, he will be able to strike at foes within range even outside the normal succession of events. To Rabbid Peach I give the gift of Shield. When used, it will ward against most weapons damage. To Rabbid Luigi I grant Super Barrier. It protects against enemy Super Effects anc can also reduce damage. As for how to most effectively use your new gifts, I leave that to you to discover for yourselves. More gifts will come in the future... I hope. With Anticipation, your biggest fan. Aha! Our incognito ally's ability to give us exactly what we need at exactly the right time is uncanny! Remind me not to play them at Go Fish. Check out those suspicious covers! They have the same Super Effect symbol most weapons have. They look ready to explode - or something. Let's avoid using weapons within close proximity to them! Strange. Though it looks like there are only two of those Rabbid-marked covers... ...my sensors detect four of them! Watch out, they may disguised as normal covers! I have so many questions here... Perhaps they're better left unanswered. Talk about the life of the party. It's not just wearing a lampshade, it's wearing the whole lamp!
Mario: Wait! Let's go.
Beep-O: Did you know you gain a damage bonus when you attack from above? Fire upon an enemy from this vantage point and see for yourself! Aha! So you're the other half of the fabled duo, Mario and... and... Louis? Lyle? LLewellyn? Er... well... all the same, welcome! You know, you could help us save the Mushroom Kingdom instead of just lounging around... Hello? It may be asleep now, but as soon as it seems our presence it will wake up, eager to bite us! Or one of those enemies. Really, a Chain Chomp doesn't discriminate - it'll just zero on the closest target. The good news is that the Chain Chop will only charge once we have completed our turn. Uh-oh, the broken bridge ahead! I guess we need to find an alternative to continue on our path... That was an eight-inch bubble wand in our world. Now, it's eighty feet! We'll have to bring over a burrito next time. There's a tiny plaque here from the artist that reads, 'Rabbid Building a Log Cabin'. I wonder what that means?
Bowser Jr.: Hey! Stay away from him. I see what's going on here. You want to use the little fella's special talents for yourself! Well, I saw him first! He and all his special talents are mine. I think I'll call you... ...Spawny! You want to help me teach these wimps a lesson, Spawny? Ha! My papa's gonna be so impressed when he gets back from vacation! And you, Mario, you must be exhausted after all those battles. Take this-it'll give you some much energy needed. Before I go, Spawny and I would like to introduce you to a new friend of ours. He's the 'top banana' around here!
Beep-O: "The tip of the whip that tames the beast is the very face of Aphrodite herself". Ladies and gentlemen - it is clear we must rescue "Spawny" from the clutches of Bowser Jr... ...before, he can destroy what's left of the Mushroom Kingdom, forever! I saw we adjourn to Princess Peach's Castle for a series of breakout sessions... ...during which we shall workshop solutions in a safe, open environment! In other words... Let's get moving! Did you see that? I can move certain blocks now! I knew I was a lot stronger than I looked! With this ability we may be to rach entirely new area within the Mushroom Kingdom... ...or backtrack to the Ancient Gardens and reach previously inaccessible areas! The Rabbids tweaked the cannon so that we can choose where to launch to. According to my sources, Bowser Jr. was last seen headed towards the Sherbet Desert! Let's follow him and retrieve, er, Spawny! My sensors reveal two interesting facts regarding Smasher behavior... One - their temper. If stuck by a weapon they will charge attacker like a raging bull! Two - they have the stamina of a walrus after an all-you-can-eat fish fry. If you're far enough away they stop charging. Wonderful, this once-thriving desert is now partly a frozen wasteland. Your arrival in this world would seem to be as welcome as a skunk in a bowling alley.
Toadette: Hello, again! Have you seen Toad? We got separated.
Beep-O: Again?!
Toadette: (Sighs) He thinks its fun. 'Just throw out the map and let your heart your guide' is his motto. Could you find him for me? I'm starting to get worried.
Beep-O: Ahem! Two steps forward, one step back. To find Spawny you must defeat the Rabbids who plague you at every step, however... each victory frees them from the Megabug upon high. Pay close attention when you defeat an enemy and you'll see that Megabug regains some of the strength it lost when it merged with your foe. Hint: the ghost-like apparitions that rise to the sky after you clobber someone senseless are a clue. Yes, I see! Defeating the Rabbids frees them from the Meagbug's stronger! Oh, that's very clever I- Oh... Oh, dear. That's not good, is it? Our only hope is to find Spwany... ...and stop him from creating any more abominations that will only add substance to the storm above! As you would say - let's-a-go. First to find Toad, then Spawny! Bwah is the word - it's not groove, it's got meaning! Apprently, this town ain't big enough for the two of them. Poor fella, once he soared freely overhead, spreading fear all throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. Just look at him now - tangled in gaudy Rabbid undergarments. Oh, what cruel fate! We must restore Mushroom Kingdom to its original state. Banzai Bill's freedom (and dignity) depends on it.
Bowser Jr.: I see you escaped Spawny's offspring back at the tower. Well, don't waste time putting yourselves on the back. With Spawny at my side you'll be the ones fading into oblivion soon enough. Then nothing and no one'll be the boss of me! Hear me? No one! Papa?! Papa, I'm kinda in the middle of some- No, I'm not throwing a party! I finished my homework. I finished my homework. Well... most of it. Yes, I took out the garbage. Okay, Papa... C'mon, Spawny. We're not done yet. We still gotta defeat Mario and his dumb friends! Papa'll be so proud!
Beep-O: I collected some data on Supporters. While they are not great fighters, they are expert healers! Moreover, even if their weapons don't deal much damage, they're prone to trigger Super Effects. Beware!
Toad: Wow. Am I glad you came along. Toadette got herself lost again!
Beep-O: Funny, she said the same thing about you.
Toad: Er... Did she now? Well, um... in any case, we'd better go find her! It won't be easy, the area ahead is very dangerous. But if you safely escort me back to Toadette, I'll make sure you get an even bigger reward this time!
Beep-O: We are not a delivery service. We have important work to do.
Toad: Oh, of course! I just thought you might be interested in this. I couldn't figure out how to get out of here. I'm not so good with puzzles I'm afraid... ...but maybe you'll have more luck? I'll even carry it back for you! Deal? An ally in our fight against Bowser Jr.!
Beep-O: Mr. Toad, you have yourself a deal!
Toad: Just slide down. I'll take it from there!
Beep-O: Not a care in the world. Wouldn't tat be nice?
Toad: Wow! You guys did it! Guess I've gotta keep my end of the bargain, eh? I'll carry your friend here for you while you help me reunite with Toadette.
Beep-O: Are you sure you can carry it by yourself?
Toad: Of course! I work out. Plus, my head is very well insulated. I don't even feel chilly!
Beep-O: Well then, I suggest we waste no time in reuniting with your less directionally-impaired buddy. For the sooner we do, the sooner our ice-ensconced ally can join us in the fight against Bowser Jr.! Perfect Toad! He's unarmed, so he can't attack, only move. It's up to you to make sure Toad reaches the other side of the battlefield safe and sound. Enemies will keep spawning. If Toad takes too much damage, you lose! What the-! Ah, I see our frozen friend has finally deiceded to join us. A pale imitation of the real thing, of course, ut still... ...any ally in the fight against Bowser Jr. is a welcome sight indeed. I suggest we withdraw to Princess Peach's Castle to get our new companion up to speed. Bucklers! Here's a tip - you'll find to flank them so your attacks aren't blocked by that shield of theirs! What's that? Okay, maybe that one obvious, but did you know their dash can be explosive? Or that they're lucky shots? That they use Honey in combat? Hmm? Did you? Of course not! Lucky, I'm here, then. Given what these power blocks are capable of, I'm actually pretty glad its broken. Even though it's fossilized it still gives me the creeps. Let's pass through quickly. Before you can blink it will get bigger and bigger blowing away everyone in its path. Afterwards the tornado will calm down again. You can always see where its heading by checking the weathercock. The answer my friends, is bwah-in' in the wind, the answer is bwah-in' in the wind...
Bowser Jr.: Well, well! It seems the Goody Two-Shoes Crew can't get enough of your talents, Spwany! I wonder what new creation you can come up with to pique their interest... It'd better be good! Give them something straight out of your nightmares! Or I'll give you something to be scared about! Stop wigging, you saphead! You're going to fall out the- And you. Stay away from Spwany. As a matter of fact, stay out of my way. Period.
Beep-O: I can't tell if that's the same Rabbid or two neighbors trying to avoid each other. We are honored to have you join us, Your Highness. May I suggest we return to your castle so we may prepare for our next match? That'd be... Peachy. They're praising the spirit of Papa Rabbo, guardian of time-travelling washing machines. Spooky Trials... A place deserving of its name, I see. Sigh... No sign of Bowser Jr. or Spawny. They could be anywhere. Aha! Perhaps our mysterious benefactor has the answers we seek! Congrats on finding Spooky Trails. Isn't it great? Check out the gate in front of you. Wow, our Guardian Angel is good. Behind the Moon Gate is the cure for plague that's ravaged the Mushroom Kingdom for too long! A champion that has long been asleep will awaken and set things right! But to get to him, you'll need to find the two uh... er... Lost Relics of Goodness! Find the relics and the champion - a Mr. Tom Phan - shall awake and sing with joy at having you before him! Ooh! That sounds nice! Well, we don't have many clues, but at least we have a plan! Let's find these relics, shall we? Two pedestals, both empty - and two lost Relics of Goodness to recover. They must be related somehow. Hey, that large gate over there just opened. Coincidence? I think not. Interesting to note that smaller side gates are also open. Whoever built this place sure loved gates. My sensors tell me that these enemies are masters of long range attacks and teleportation! They could outflank us, attack and then vanish before we could react! Talk about unsporting! Also, beware their seductive charms! Peek-a-boos can pull you towards them like a Siren leading a sailor to his doom! Could that gramophone over there be one of the, uhm, Relics of Goddess? I thought I saw a matching gold pedestal somewhere... but where? They must be connected somehow. Let's grab the gramophone and get out of here. This place sends shiver down my theoretical spine! Er, unpleasant for your enemies, I mean! The second relic of Goodness will involve a long and perilous journey during which you'll probably meet a grisly end. Have fun. Well, I certainly hope this Tom Phan person is worth the trouble... Sill, if there's even a chance he can help us defeat Bowser Jr. and rescue Spawny, we've got to take it! Oh, #%S*@ - not again.
Toadette: Guys, guys - you won't believe that happened!
Beep-O: Toad wandered off, you got separated and now you need our help to find him... again.
Toadette: Nope... We were playing hied-and-seek and then we got separated. This used to be a great place for that kinda stuff. Spooky, but not too spooky, if you catch my meaning. But how...
Beep-O: You know, we are heroes. It's not like we don't have quests and things. Oh, I don't want to be a bother.
Toadette: Couldn't I just tag along and look for him myself?
Beep-O: I'm sorry, we are simply too busy right now to-
Toadette: I'll give you whatever's in the treasure chest I found!
Beep-O: What if it's just an old boot and a rusty telescope or something?
Toadette: Ooh! Do you think?! Well, I'll still let you have it... If you help me find Toad.
Beep-O: Sigh...
Toad: Fenie meenie iney moe... How'd you guys find me?!
Toadette: The same way we found you the last... two or three occasions where this happened? I've lost count. Yep, fun times!
Beep-O: Sigh... May I suggest that the two of you go back the way came and find something to do indoors?! Like... make jam... put up some new wallpaper... maybe study a map?
Toad: Mmm... jam...
Toadette: Yeah! But first - one more game of hide-and-seek!
Beep-O: Oh, no! No, no, no-
Toadette: Hold on - I promised them this treasure chest if they helped me.
Beep-O: Wait! Don't... @%#@! Come on everyone, let's see if there's anything useful in this chest of theirs... ...before we collect second Relic of Goodness and find Tom Phan. Someone needs to get those poor Rabbids a ginger lozenge or a lemon edge or something.
Mme Bwahstrella: You are doomed! Doomed!
Beep-O: We are?!
Mme Bwahstrella: Doomed to inferior fortune-telling and outrageous prices if you see someone besides Madame Bwahstrella.
Beep-O: Oh. Well, thank you but I prefer to build my house on the solid foundation of science and reason rather than... ...mindless superstition.
Mme Bwahstrella: So you don't want to know to find the last relic?
Beep-O: One fortune, please!
Mme Bwahstrella: O'er the gardens, under the mountains... The item you seek is in the mountain.
Beep-O: Can we get a hint as to what this item is?
MMe Bwahstrella: Even the light of Bwahstrella's inner eye can't penetrate the darkness in every corner of the unknown. But! Watch where you step - not all is as at seems...
Beep-O: Are you talking about on the ground? Does one of us trip or something?
MMe Bwahstrella: No.
Beep-O: Ahem! Well then, I think we're wasted enough valuable time on this sideshow. We'll let you get back to separating the slack-jawed yokels from the money they saved to buy pickled pigs' feet. Good day, madam.
MMe Bawhstrella: You're all doomed! DOOMED!
Beep-O: Drawing a live Rabbid on your tarot card means chaos, destruction, laughter and giant toilets are in your future. It looks like a Boo Balloon! It's the missing Relic of Goodness! Let's bring it back its pedestal I see a shortcut down there, past the fountain! Voi-la! Our prayers have been answered. Now the Moon Gate should open wide for us! I said, 'Viola'! It... It was supposed to open. Why isn't it open? We did our part! We retrieved the Lost Relics of Goodness! *&#$%@! Why isn't it open?! It's not fair! Why isn't it... Great! The wrong side. Maybe there's a hotline we can call or something. Aha! Our anonymous patron has again picked te perfect time to lend a helping hand. Dorks, you're probably feeling pretty discouraged right now, not that I blame you. I'd be discouraged if I were you, too. The Moon Gate can't be opened unless there's a full moon (duh). Too bad it's gone already. Lucky for you, I know a way to get it to come back! Just take the totally non-spooky path leading from the gate that just opened and everything will work out just fine and you won't be killed. I promise. Hmmm... There's something off about this last message - though I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps there was more to Madame Bwahstrella's fortune than she let on. Perhaps someone else is planning to harm us and our enigmatic ally is as in the dark as we are! To the gate! Phew... Welcome to the ragtag alliance! Anyone who wishes to aid in our quest to make the Mushroom Kingdom whole again gladly received. Valkyries go to great lengths to protect themselves and others. Watch for their Team Jump - it ends with a Ground Pound! Don't let them get the drop on you... literally! Also beware their, er... 'unique' yet powerful shooting technique. Ew. What if they catch them? Oh gosh. Look up. It's not the only looking scarier, now it sounds awful too! Well, I don't think it's inviting us over for hot cocoa and lemon bars! In fact, I tink ity's inviting us to do just the opposite - whatever that is. It feels like it's watching us - biding its time while it grows in power. All the more reason to get to Mr. Tom Phan as quickly as possible! Brrr! A graveyard. It's cold, wet and unfortunately, exactly where we need to be. However, I'm confused. The only interesting thing here is the clock tower on the other side of the graveyard... ...how can it possibly help us to get the moon to rise twice in the same night? Interesting, this contraption looks to be linked to the clock tower. Is it a puzzle? Perhaps by turning the clock's hands backwards we'll force the moon back in the sky? Sounds like the type of nonsensical Rabbidese logic the Mushroom Kingdom is overrun with... ...And therefore probably worth a shot! The moon! It's... it's reversing its course! Aha! Our cryptic colleague calls to congratulate us. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Moon Gate is open and Mr. Tom Phan awaits. Soon, you'll be out of the picture entirely! Muhahahahaha! Er... when I wrote 'out of the picture' I meant, 'doing great'. Also, when I wrote 'muhahahahaha' I meant, 'congratulations'. Also, when I wrote 'muhahahahaha' the second time I meant, er.... "You guys are really cool and I like you at lot and definitely don't wish you any harm.' (Snickers) Well! It would seem that our quest is almost at end. Let's not keep our savior waiting any longer than necessary! Why, it's a theater! Tom Phan sure has a fair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Beep-O, just a quick note to let you know my email was hacked. Please ignore my messages about a Mr. Tom Phan as I suspect it's a trap... ...though no doubt you figured that out for yourself already, as I'm sure it was as obvious to you as it was to me. Signed, Your Biggest Fan.
Bowser Jr.: So, you finally decided to show up! You're just in time for the show.
Beep-O: Bowser Jr.! It was you that sent us those messages asking us to collect the Relics of Goodness... so we could unlock the Moon Gate to find Mr. Tom Phan, wasn't it? I knew it all along! Er... well, I suspected. Okay, I just figured it out in the last thirty seconds. Tom Phan was a red herring. It was just a trap, wasn't it?
Bowser Jr.: Oh, he's real alright... In fact, thanks to yo, he's about to make this deut right here on this very stage. Behold! Tom Phan! Better known as... Phantom!
Phantom: Bwah... Hum... ah-ehm. ♪BWaaaaah-Bwah-Bwah BwaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH! Bwah Ahem-har... Humph! You think yours is a real mustache? Who's done me a thousand wrongs, Ever since Donkey Kong? Slithering down every pipe, Despite his plumb-shaped body type! Who's gonna run in fear, While screaming 'Mamma miaaaaaaaaaaa'? Who leaves me gray and grim? Oh, wait does Peach see in him? Mario! With great joy in my heart, Each time I watch Mario Kart! With great joy in my heart, Each time I watch Mario Kart! You're first and doing so well, But here comes the Spiny Shell! Ha ha ha! And now you and your Rabbid friends, Have finally met your ends! Just let me catch my breath, Then I'll 'high C' that you to death!♪
Beep-O: My sensors indicate that Tom Pha- er, the Phantom, is immune to attack when he's hogging the spotlight! If this greedy songbird is to sing his swan song we must find a way to turn off those lights!
Phantom: ♪Who do you think you are? You should kneel, I'm the Star! You are nothing but a parody I'll find you a good role in a... tragedy (ah ah ah ah) "It's-a-me, let's-a-go!" The only words you know! My art will touch your princess's heart And you will be pulled APAAAAART! You think you'll win this tournament? I'll send you to retirement! You're so not worth the hassle Your Princess is in another castle! Mushrooms won't end the pain... Time for the Phantom to start his reiiiiiign!♪ (Sobbing)
Beep-O: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the very mouth of the lion itself - Bowser Jr. has been busy since his father left. It looks like as if he's transformed the heart of this volcano into some sort of military production facility. I fear our travails thus far are just a prelude for what is come to. Be on your guard... His skin must be irritated - probably all the dry air down here. Hey! Stop scratching and use some aloe! The Super Dimension Mecha Mobile Beast King Ninja Rabbidbot - a failed experiment unfortunately. Evil aside, it's nice to see some things are still done by hand. Looks like our progress is blocked! Hmm... the colored pedestals appear to each match a different problem. Pedestals are generally made to put things on top of them. We should try different combinations to see what happens. Someone's feeding this Chain Chomp Rabbid-shaped cookies! It's going to think they all taste like shortbread now. My sensors detect they bought a QwickPress so they can do the ride over and over again. We need a way down - but the pipes aren't connected! Hmm... Let's see what those switches do. Good to see there's at least one Rabbid who's got his butt in gear! Ha ha ha! Gosh, I'm on a roll today. This is the biggest pipe labyrinth yet - seriously how paranoid is Bowser Jr.? So many pipes leading to nowhere - and is that a mech?! At what point do you just move to a gated community, you know? There's only one way through this place that will lead us to Spawny. Let's watch our step, there's no time to lose. Ah, the famous Yoshi - and with Spawny, no less! Fortune has finally smiled upon us! But we've got no time to celebrate - Bowser Jr. could be back any second. We need to get Spawny out of here, now! So, Yoshi, is it true have your own island? Spawny! Are you alright? Yes, well... we're glad to see you, too. Oh! Ah... well, I suppose you have unleashed... ... a swath of awe-inspiring destruction across the Mushroom Kningdom... ... thanks to your reckless handling of the SuperMerge... Er... um... but as colossal disasters go, this one was... er... not so bad? Let's see here um... the positives are... um... Hmm. Yes! The Sherbet Desert was cool... plus now we all know how to spell 'sherbet' - boy was that a surprise. Before we proceed, I want to remind everyone that keep Spawny safe must our top priority. No one is to take their eyes off of Spawny for a single second! The very fate of the Mushroom Kingdom depends on us returning him home safety. I'll admit, we've had some missteps - perhaps one or two were even mine... ...but now that Spawny is with us, we can't afford to let anything stand in our way... right Spawny? Uh... Spawny? Great! You guys spooked hi. Well, don't just stand there, go get him!
Bowser Jr.: Well, I hope you're happy!
Beep-O: Excuse me?! Are you implying that this is our fault?!
Bowser Jr.: Spawny and I were perfectly happy together. Fire minutes with you and he gets kidnapped! And what's Papa gonna say when he comes home to find a giant energy dragon hanging out in his castle? Lucky for you he's still on vacation, so you'll have to clean up the mess you made. That's him now. It's probably just another photo of him standing next to a stupid statue or a old pile or rubble. "Decided to come home early, son. See you soon! - Papa." Oh, no! That dragon's gonna squish my dad! And then my dad's gonna squish me! What am I gonna do?! You gotta help me! I'm coming, Papa! I'm coming!
Beep-O: Sigh... well, like it or not, he has a point... That thing in the sky has been gaining power with each corruption we've set free. It's taken from now - and it has Spawny. Whatever we do, we must do it quickly, before it gains any more strength... ... or soon no force in the Mushroom Kingdom will be powerful enough to stop it.
Bowser Jr.: Hey! Hey! You've gotta help my papa! He coulda licked that himself, but something happened to him!
Beep-O: We're too late, then. We should return to Princess Peach's Castle and marshal our forces!
Bowser Jr.: No, please. I'm sorry about before! I know it's all my fault... Uh... I guess I owe you guys a debt of gratitude or whatever.
Beep-O: I just hope this has taught you a lesson... ...taught us all a lesson, really. We ought not to meddle with powerful forces beyond our understanding.
Bowser Jr.: Look, I can't promise that I'll be good forever but I'll try. You did kinda free my dad from a big, scary dragon thing. (Sighs) Guess I'll have to take my lumps when he wakes up. Unless you want to take the fall for me! I mean, he already hates Mario, so-
Beep-O: A tempting offer... Alas, we must return to Princess Peach's Castle to let everyone know that the threat to the Mushroom Kingdom has passed! If ever a single appliance in all of history has caused more trouble for more people, I'd like to hear about it! Wait a moment... 'History'! I could use this time machine to help our past selves rescue Spawny and save the Mushroom Kingdom more easily! Wait! What if I did that already?! What if 'Your Biggest Fan' was me the whole time? Pfft! Nonsense! What kind of an insecure egomaniac would lavish that much praise on themselves? Thought maybe I should forward those messages my past self just in case. Dearest Beep-O, whose bravery, intelligence and compassion stand as a beacon of hope for us all if my timing is correct, you are in dire need of help. Etc., etc. - I'll just copy the rest. Let's see, who should I put as sender's name so I don't confuse myself later - I mean 'earlier'? He he. I know! 'F.B' - for 'Future Beep-O'. Oh! Wait! I forgot the attachments! On second thought, perhaps I should leave well enough alone. One never knows what unintended consequences something like this could have. Ah, well... What could possibly go wrong? Everyone, pay attention! Yes, we were awesome and heroically defeated the Megabug, but we still have work to do! First, we need to explore the Mushroom Kingdom for places to use my new talent - dig! I'd start with the Lava Pit. There's not just digging to do at the Lava Pit - it seems there are a lot of corrupted Rabbids there for us to find liberate, as well! My finely-turned sensors also detect increased activity at the Buddydome hidden near Peach's Castle! Anxious to get started? Good! Soo... let's-a go!
Toadette: Mario! We JUST now made it back from Spooky Trails.
Toad: Thanks for clearing that path for us. It gave us a chance to enjoy the scenery!
Toadette: Oh - that reminds me! We were asked to read this message to you. It says... "We, citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, offer our highest appreciation and utmost admiration to you - it's greatest heroes." "We put everything we have into this world - thank you for saving it!" You know what they say - helping your friends is all part of life's rich journey!
Toad: Is that what they say? Anyway...congrats, you guys! Hopefully next time this we'll happens be a little more useful.
Toadette: I don't mind reading the message again. just don't let all this praise go to your head... "We, citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, offer our highest appreciation and utmost admiration to you - it's greatest heroes." "We put everything we have into this world - thank you for saving it!" Wow. Whoever these "citizens" are, they really think you're the best!
Toad: I wish someone would write ME a note like that.. I guess I'll just have to wait until next time the Mushroom Kingdom is on our brink of utter destruction.